my lucky 13 valentines day

 Thirteen years ago this week my older brother and his wife were lounging around my parents living room, asking me about dating.

Were there any guys in my life that were interesting?

I'd recently gone back to college for another degree, and I told them about this totally amazing guy whose desk faced mine at one of my internships, but explained that he would never ask me out.

I was pretty sure he wasn't that into dating,

even though I could see he liked me a little.

  I went to bed after that conversation thinking about Chris.

He was the one who made my heart speed up when he said my name.

He was the one I couldn't stay away from.

I had to be near him, even if it meant working late or doing jobs I didn't need to do.

I skipped class and hours at a newspaper internship just to be near him, which was a crazy-not-like-me thing to do.

  I was shocked the day after that conversation with my brother (a few days before Valentines day) when Chris called and said he had a trunk full of newspapers I needed to clip for work (yes, this was way back in the olden days, when people read real newspapers).

I didn't care that he was calling about work.

He called me.

Then he laughed and said he was kidding. He wondered if we could "hang out" sometime this week

(what does that mean? is that a date? or just-a-friend kind of thing? Did he like me, or was he looking for someone to "hang out" with?).

 I jokingly told him I had big plans on Valentines Day, so I couldn't "hang out" that day.

He was quiet for a moment.

Then, because I didn't want to play any dating games or play hard to get with this guy who made my heart speed up when he said my name, and caused me to skip class and do extra work, I explained that I was delivering valentine cookies to the girls in my singles' ward with my fellow  Relief Society presidency members.

But I could "hang out" the day after that. So we had a date.

I couldn't stop smiling for days.

When he picked me up (about an hour late? what does it mean when a punctual guy shows up an hour late? does it mean he's just not that into you? that you really are "hanging out" and it's not a date at all? sheesh.), we went to play laser tag (which, by the way, I happen to enjoy, so don't feel sorry for me all you laser tag haters out there).

Since we were "hanging out" I wasn't sure if I was supposed to pay for myself.

I stood there all awkward at the cash register, still trying to figure out if this was a date or not.

I can't remember what I said to him or the cashier, but I do remember Chris looking at me funny and telling me he was paying for both of us.

No, this isn't how our "hanging out" date ended.

But it was the best "hanging out" date I ever had.

We bumped shoulders and looked at each other and smiled an excessively large amount of the time.

We talked so much that he drove right past my neighborhood on the way home, and I didn't even notice until we were several blocks away.

I was a gonner.

I'd fallen in love with this boy who made my heart speed up when he said my name, this person I was so drawn to I had to skip class and do extra work to be with him.

No doubt about it.

I'll tell you the rest of the story another time.

But I'm pretty sure you know how it ends...